Teeth are important. It’s true. If you’re American, then you already know this (whisper: Americans are obsessed with their teeth. It’s just weird). If you’re not American, then perhaps you should read this. If you’re British, then you are probably well on your way to dying a violent death caused by oral problems, so it probably won’t do you any good.

I’m obviously joking on that last point. However, I am dead serious about the point of this post. You really don’t want to mess around with your teeth. Love them. Smother them with lots of xylitol, flouride and floss. If you do, they will provide long years of service. You’ll have a cracking smile (useful for attracting the opposite sex – I’m just saying), you’ll be able to chew through the any dodgy meals made by an overzealous partner (No finger-pointing), and best of all, you’ll save a huge stack of cash. Ignore them and they will make you pay, eventually.

Yes. Eventually you will have to face judgment for your actions, of lackthereof. I have learnt this the hard way; the painful, drill-in-my-mouth, wallet-emptying, hard way. You see, I hadn’t been to the dentist in like 4-5 years until this week. The last time I was in there was to change a filling that had worn out. I got a seal of approval from the the dentist back then. Somehow I managed to translate that to mean I wouldn’t have to return back until the filling was due for replacement again. I am not really sure how I came to that conclusion, but there you have it. Over the years I thought about it, but couldn’t bring myself to actually do it. As problems go, I had the odd toothache every now and again (usually after eating a substantial amount of meat…I’m weak); no serious issues, or so I thought.

So I finally made an appointment with a dentist to get my filling replaced again. I knew I would have to have some work done; some cleaning. Nothing major. So, it was a bit of a shock when I was shown the list of things that HAD TO BE DONE. I should have been suspicious when the lady who did the x-rays and examination coughed the first time she saw the pictures. It was over 90 Degrees that day. No way it was a cold. She was probably covering up a gasp. I got a bit of a scolding as well. Apparently, I should have been seeing a dentist way more often than I have been doing. They all say we should go at least twice a year. Boo. Nobody does that, right? Now I have to do several more sessions this year.

My bill was extremely steep, even with the Dental Plan I was on. I won’t quote the amount, but it wasn’t a few hundred dollars. My teeth are trying to bleed me dry. Apparently, a few more months and it would have been much worse. Phrases like “Bone-Damage” and “Periodontal Disease” were thrown in there. Even the routine filling almost became a “Root Canal” treatment of some sort. Consequently, I now have to approach my dental hygiene with military-like discipline. I have had to get one of those special tooth brushes with really thin, fine bristles to ensure they can get under the gumline (Not the Oral-B 20 Dollar ones…think more). There’s a special Oral health kit I have had to get. I would have thought it was a ploy to squeeze more dough out of me if I hadn’t done the research myself. The amount of work to fight this stuff is quite a bit more than I think most people are willing to do (if you’re not American. What…it’s true!). Brushing for more like 5 minutes instead of 2; going to the dentist substantially more than twice a year, unless your teeth are exceptional etc. The whole thing is scary.

Here’s the thing: I knew I was going to have to become more serious about my health as I grew older. I kept thinking “As soon as I hit thirty, I’ll sort myself out”. I would do all the tests, I would get serious about eating habits, I would be more aware in general. But life doesn’t always wait for you. It is better to bite the bullet now rather than facing up to the rocket launcher further down the line. That’s the principle we should all be trying to live our lives by. It’s always going to be a bit of an inconvenience. There you have it.

In keeping with that, I will be attempting to address the other important areas. I am already working on eating and exercising more. Maybe a full Physical might be in order. I’ll also have to get round to that…GULP…prostate exam at some point. Not just yet though. No…later. Later…