I am imagining a club that has existed for generations. My parents’ parents were members. My parents are members. The rules of the club are mystical and unfathomable to the un-initiate. They cannot be understood by the logical mind. The very idea of this club is based on shared history and faith. Now, I have been given the task of preserving these sacred traditions and handing them over to the next generation. It could be the plot of a cool fantasy movie; except in this case, the hero – my humble self – says “Whatever. I’m off to play Street Fighter”. End of movie.

That’s what’s happening with older cultures and traditions…sort of. They just can’t keep up with the new world. It’s change. Change will come no matter what. It’s relentless and brutal in it’s sweeping away of the old. Globalization, the internet…it’s happening. And, like anything else, there are pluses and minuses (is that really a word?). On one side you have the keepers of tradition, who maintain that holding on to the older ways, at least in some form, not only helps to preserve the connection to something bigger than oneself, but also helps to enrich one’s everyday life. On the other side you have those that believe that we have to focus on the things that encourage unity and integration in our societies. I am sure there are other views that are neither here nor there, but you get the picture.

Those, like my grandma, who fight to preserve “the old ways” can seem a bit out of touch with reality in their thinking sometimes, just like Snooki and the crew. They give many reasons to justify their proposition, but too often it comes down to something like “It’s been our way of life for generations” or “It’s part of who we are”. The younger, global-citizen types can simply scream back in unison “WE DON’T CARE!”. It’s been there for ages, so it should never pass away? I’m not convinced. The preservation of culture for culture’s sake just doesn’t cut it anymore. Sorry, grandma.

Still, while I might take issue with that argument, I do believe there is a lot for the old guard to fight for. When it comes to old ways, I think that the whole is definitely more than a sum of the parts. What makes up tradition? Shared ancestry, shared language, shared religion etc. All of these together are the building blocks for the structure of a given culture. The most important bit, in my humble opinion, is the “sharing”. Belonging to and living in accordance with these traditions is a communal way of life. It’s sharing with one-another; brotherhood. In other words, connection. I’d like to think that this connection is one of the big reasons people fight for tradition, even if that isn’t immediately obvious.

No question about it, shared tradition connects people – e.g. Apple Mac owners, for instance…stuffy bunch. Belonging to any club can add a “heaviness” to one’s social identity. It can give one’s life a grand purpose. This can also be true even when a member does not really believe in or subscribe to the core message of the group. Just being a member can make all the difference. Now, throw in family ties, history, time etc and you have a connection that is even more powerful. In a world that is getting increasingly impersonal, this is something that is important, at least to those who are aware of what would be lost if the group were to disintegrate i.e. grandma!

I was reading The hero with a thousand faces by Joseph Campbell, a fantastic book that explores the relevance of Mythology across a wide variety of peoples of the world. There’s so much about how these rituals and shared myth can shape individuals in a group. It is powerful stuff. In modern society, the idea of culture in some respects has been reduced to “character”, enlightenment (of the intellectual variety) and even infrastructure (See Capital of Culture). It has become more of a spectator sport or something of the mind, rather than something that one participates fully in, body and soul. That deep connection is missing.

Modern society therefore seems sterile in this respect. Everything seems to be based more on reason and logic. What about reverence for one’s ancestors? Where are the masquerades that chase kids all over the place? What about the rites of passage that chldren pass through to become adults? What about the periodical gatherings of the people to celebrate…I don’t know…the full moon?! In the absence of these acts that allowed people to develop deep bonds with each other, what are we left with…Facebook?

At the end of the day, there has to be a balance. I am unique as an individual, inasmuch as I am a member of a group. I can be part of the new world and still keep the useful stuff from my ancestral culture (though not the language. Once again, sorry grandma). In fact, I fear that one’s cultural identity can sometimes be used as an excuse for refusing to assimilate. It can be used as a wedge between oneself and one’s current environment and neighbors. So, it is important to see the bigger picture. What one loses in the way of bonds within a smaller group, one gains in the way of bonds to a much larger group. This sort of thing might not bode well for the survival of my little tribe, but it could be good for me, and perhaps the world, as long as I don’t lose myself.

I think a lot of these older cultures are going to become extinct. Even so, I still think that trying to pass on the core values of my culture to my children would be a worthwhile activity…if I knew what they were. Instead, I will pass on the lessons I have learnt in life. No doubt, some of those will be traceable back to my ancestors. So, in that sense, maybe I’ll be passing on my cultural identity to my kids afterall.

When I think about cultural identity, images of people in traditional African garb involved in some sort of ceremony immediately come to mind. These pictures are indicative of the associations that have been made in my mind around the concepts of culture and tradition. This particular set of images may be related to my particular background, but it’s the symbolism that is important here. What these images suggest to me is the idea that one’s cultural identity links back to something deep, almost primal or instinctual, within us as humans. What I am trying to get at is more than just a set of traits that define a people; but more the in-depth and often elaborate rituals and behaviors that tie a group of people together…the sort of stuff that is not easily accessible in modern society.

I am speaking (writing, if you insist on nitpicking) as somone who should have a direct line of connection to my cultural heritage. Both my parents are from the same Ethnic Group in West Africa. They both speak the language, and are fully familiar with the customs. Sadly, we (meaning myself and my two brothers…me in the middle, like Malcolm) do not speak the language, at least not at a respectable level; and are only generally aware of said customs. It was certainly not a priority for me when I was growing up. I liked video games better.

There were a lot of old customs in full swing all around me…even in the midst of all the western influences that were making their way into our lives as we got older. There was a lot of religion everywhere – churches on every corner in the town I grew up, it seemed to me – but ancient customs still stood. In fact, when it really comes down to it, tradition still trumps religion. For instance, one might get married in a church, but would still have to do the traditional wedding ceremony – always first – according to the customs of the bride’s family. I personally have dreaded this practice since I hit puberty and realized I might have to get married. In fact, it is the chief reason I haven’t returned home since I got married while I lived in England years ago. Angry in-laws are waiting for me to come and properly “claim” my bride. I fear they have scouts at ports of entry into the country. It’s best to avoid returning altogether.

As children, adults in the family tried to make us aware of the dangers of not knowing where one was from, of not being able to communicate in anything other than the White Man’s language. There were stories of times during the civil war when being able to speak your language and/or understand local customs was the only proof that you were not the enemy…thus sparing yourself from a violent death at the hands of your own. While tales of the war were cool – one particularly juicy bit involved my uncle, then a child, being dressed-up as a girl to avoid the “draft” – we weren’t too worried about this situation ever arising for us; not in modern times. In fact, most attempts to learn about our tribal customs as we were growing up were driven by the fear of “Mama-Sisi”…my grandma on my dad’s side.

Sisi had a habit of turning up at our house from the village unannounced, causing all kinds of issues. She always seemed to be grumpy when I was a child…the perfect human expression of a wet blanket. We mostly tried to avoid her…like the plague. However, we knew that at some point during her visit we would inevitably be summoned to her abode (the guest room at our house) to be judged for our sins – our lack of appreciation of our culture. This experience was always nerve-racking…about as much fun as water-boarding. While I can say I gradually got on better with my grandma as I got older and could see through her “attitude”, I can never look back with any fondness at those meetings. They were, without exception, horrible.

Each encounter usually started with a paragraph or two in our mother-tongue, which we would invariably fail to understand. Then she would switch to English and proceed to lecture us extensively. She often called my parents in to get a share of the tongue-lashing for failing to pass this knowledge onto us (if they weren’t smart enough to make themselves scarce once she started). She also berated them for being so westernized themselves. They weren’t exactly happy about her manner of imparting wisdom, but they got the point; and often put in a decent effort to get us on the right path after each…er…pep-talk. They would try to speak the native tongue a little bit more, buy some books to educate us, etc. It never lasted. Everyone reverted to type after a few days.

I knew – then and now – that such attempts were doomed from the outset because culture is not something that can be transferred in a such a half-hearted manner. It has to be lived; it has to be embodied. There’s just no way to do it part-time. I had friends who were much more fluent in their tribal tongues and traditions. Each had been brought up with their parents instilling these ideas pretty much from birth. Not so with us. My parents tranferred their own unique set of values to us – effortlessly, I might add. In fact, they get extremely high marks for that. As a adult, I am still surprised how much of them I have in me. This, however, is not the same thing as being brought up with the values of “the tribe” unless the tribe is just mummy and daddy. I guess that is the key. My parents are members of their tribe, but it doesn’t pervade their lives enough for them to be natural extensions of it. Interesting…

For my grandma, her culture was a significant part of who she was, or who she thought herself to be. The demise of the tribe = the demise of her. This is a BIG deal. It’s the reason why ideas like these are so powerful. Tie in the identity of the people to the identity of the structure. They will fight till the death to protect it. My grandma was (still is) trying to preserve herself in a way, by preserving the idea of her tribe. She expected that idea to pass on to her offspring so they would hold it in the same manner, and then pass it on to their offspring. And so on, till infinity. That’s the idea. She failed to do that.

For better or worse, the power of my father’s cultural identity isn’t as strong with him as it was with his parents; probably because he’s a surgeon who rips people’s throats open for a living. Whatever the reason is, this condition is a lot worse with my generation. It’s a safe bet that my kids will be even further away from their ancestral legacy in that respect. I caught my 3-year old son singing “All the single ladies…all the single ladies” with a big smile on his face the other day. Strange. Such leanings raise serious questions that I won’t try to answer here. Has the tribe lost me and my Beyonce-singing child? What’s the big deal anyway?

More on that next time.

“It’s called climate change and has only been exacerbated by the country’s state of unpreparedness…Do not tell us you didn’t know!” – Kenyan Nobel Peace laureate Wangari Maathai appeals to world leaders at the UN summit on climate change in New York.

I can say this with some confidence…conditions in our world are changing; weather is getting more erratic; more rain in some places, less in others; more and more cases of extreme weather. Global Warming is happening and we all have to deal with it, one way or the other. It’s not a question of belief when there is talk of all the snow on Mount Kilimanjaro vanishing within 20 years. That’s the sort of knowledge you can sink your teeth into; the sort of knowledge that makes belief obsolete.

Sooner or later, it will catch up with everyone. Right now, for me here in New Jersey, it’s more of a minor inconvenience. Heck, the longer it takes for Winter to set in, the better. For folks in California, dealing with more fires sucks a bit more. Miami residents might also have some moaning to do with more storms to run way from. But, at least here in America, we are well equipped to handle these “spurts” of badly-behaved weather because of the infrastructure and the general better wellbeing of a relatively high amount of the citizens.

Not so for the third world. There, this Global Warming thingy takes on epic proportions. Of the top 20 impacted countries, 16 are African. The continent is 0.5 Celsius hotter than 100 years ago. Kenya alone is 3.5 Celsius hotter than just 20 years ago (hence the emotional appeal at the start of this article). 80% of Lake Chad in West Africa has gone up in smoke in the last 20 years. My personal favorite is River Semliki, which essentially serves as the line separating Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo. Melting polar ice caps have caused this river to alter it’s course several times since 1960, causing all kinds of confusion about the border between the countries.

The toll of this has been enormous. More disease (e.g. malaria) in the Rwandan highlands, starvation everywhere, whole habitats wiped out, extinction of animal/plant species. Most of the African economy is based on Agriculture, so one can imagine how much this sets everything back. Even when countries are able to sidestep some of the primary issues, there are other problems to contend with. For instance, during the Kenyan drought (Kenya is getting hit pretty hard) of the late 90′s, most of the GDP losses came because of reduced hydro-electric power. For a continent that is supposed to be taking confident economic strides – or working on it – into the future, this spells big trouble because the real fireworks haven’t even started yet.

So, whose fault is it? Well, this can be looked at from a couple of angles. The earth is changing. Like I said, weather will become more and more extreme until…well, let’s just say that we only have limited time here before conditions make it impossible for us to survive; or maybe we’ll all go to heaven or…gulp…hell. In any case, we are somewhat helpless in preventing the outcome. Humanity alone cannot create the conditions that will destroy this planet. That said, we contribute to it. How much we actually contribute is a subject of much argument (although most voices seem to lean to the “it’s mostly our fault” side).

The bottom line is that we must adjust our behavior to suit the circumstances so we can address our own contributions before it is too late.

This is where the unfairness that is sometime inherent in life comes in. You see, Africa and the rest of the third world…their contribution towards the “Green-House” gases that feed Global Warming is negligent. However, the consequences of Global Warming are felt the most in these places. The big boys who are responsible for most of it are much better able to handle the potential negative effects of climate change. We are just not all on equal footing.

The offshoot of this is that Africa can’t do much to fix the grand problem. What Africa can do is deal with the effects with innovation. More diverse cropping techniques, for instance to allow mangrove plants survive in salt-water. What Africa can do is ensure that, as it ramps up economic development, it initiates more “green” methods to ensure that the continent doesn’t fall in line with those who have gone before. There must be more awareness, and more education on the subject of Climate Change. The Victoria Institute of Science and Technology in Kisumu, Kenya is doing quite a bit to advance “green technology” for economic growth. More initiatives like these are needed. One can’t seem to talk about Africa without bringing up corruption, greed, war etc. The fight goes on against these problems.

As for the developed world, they must do more…both in reducing emissions and in helping the third world to weather the coming storm. They can help to build the green economies, help in providing technological know-how, in addition to aid. The developed countries have to commit to the required targets that have been established by “Kyoto” and others like that. The consequences are too great if they fail.

This problem, though not of the highest importance to them yet, will spread soon enough, so it must be addressed. This will not be easy. There just isn’t enough pain associated with Global Warming to force the drastic steps that have to be taken. It’s almost like something massive has to happen to really get people going…like Manhattan sinking (if it was somewhere in Jersey no one would care).

For others, “Green” practices would only slow them down. China and India are well on the way to becoming global powerhouses…

WORLD: “You need to slow down your industrial development and make your economy greener”

CHINA: “Why?”

WORLD: “Because of emissions and global warming and…stuff”

CHINA: “Why now…why not when others were on the way to the top?”

WORLD: “Er…er…because we didn’t know then. We know now”

CHINA: “Yeah…that’ll happen”

You get the picture. Sigh. There will be challenges. Everyone will have to take a hit, one way or the other. Better now than later though.

And for you and me…what can we do? I won’t pretend that I am particularly proactive about this in my daily life. Like most others, I have trouble seeing how li’l ol’ me can possibly impact the whole. It’s much easier to expect Governments and rich folks to chip in first. Still, I am working on it. Small things first, turning off lights, watching my fuel consumption, cutting down on waste in general etc. Small things. However, they add up.

And we can all help raise more awareness around this issue. After all, this planet is home to us all.

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In an earlier article, I explored the idea of Natural Selection and how the value of an individual could be an important factor in it’s survival in a group. What I didn’t mention was where this perspective fits into current views of science on evolution. As I understand it, there are essentially two angles; one that has the individual’s own well-being as the primary driver for one’s actions, and the other, where the group’s well-being is the driver.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?. I am not sure how far I’d go myself, though they are quite tasty. The fellow in this particular ad is forced to hang out with his mother-in-law and – gulp – massage her toes. This, at least in the current context (though I’d venture it’s also universal true), is an unpleasant ordeal for the individual. He is able to live through it because he gets the reward. He has sacrificed his well-being and dignity in return for the prize. This is the core of the Individualist view. What’s in it for me?

There is the possibility of extending that idea to include one’s immediate group or close relatives. I am talking wife and kinds here, mostly. So, the dude above might massage his mother-in-law’s toes even if there was no juicy snack for him at the end of this dark and dreary tunnel. He might do it if, perhaps, his very rich mother-in-law would contribute to his child’s college fund. While this might not necessarily be of direct benefit to himself as an individual, it is of benefit to his kid. Thus, it is of benefit to his “family”. So, the individual is able to make sacrifices for his immediate group. This is as far as it goes though. There will be no toe-massaging to help get some money for cousin Andrew’s new HD TV.

This view is one that underestimates the importance of socialization and group dynamics; family and love (as much as love can be applied to animal communities) i.e. it’s all about self-preservation.

This means, for instance, that for a person to give away their wealth or time, they would have to get something back (either directly for themselves or for their immediate group). We see this all the time. People might get rewarded with status, political favors, praise etc. However, we also see people give of themselves in situations where there is no clear benefit. They might get a “buzz” from it…that is the reward. I suppose one could argue that this doesn’t translate to something for nothing, as they get the feeling. However, what we are examining here is evolutionary. Why would the human body or brain generate the hormones that stimulate the aforementioned feeling from doing such an activity? Especially since this feeling – one that ensures that the individual is likely to do more of the same – is of no “benefit” to the person? That’s the kicker. It just doesn’t add up.

And so it goes. We find that it is frequently the case that no gain can be isolated that is primarily for the individual, or just for the individual’s family or descendants. Instead, the gain is for others in the wider group. It is the same for people who go off to help out in poor countries, or campaign for a better planet. In each case, the effects and benefits are on a larger scale – the group in question could even be all of humanity. This sort of behavior flies in the face of the individualist idea of “me first”. It would seem that the behavior of the individual has not always evolved for completely selfish reasons; but also for the good of the group.

A different example of this might be a person who is chronically ill. Investigations have shown that patients who need help the most, but are really unhappy, are least likely to get it. This is because depressed patients repel doctors and nurses with their attitude. They moan, complain or just aren’t that great to be around. They are downers. They actively accelerate their rejection by such actions. By implication, they accelerate their possible demise. Once again, we can look at this from an evolutionary perspective. Such behavior would be justifiable if there was something in it for this individual. Perhaps, more resources for his family after his death or something to that effect. However, most of the time at least, this isn’t the case.

Studies have shown that most people who are this way are the least likely to have close family and friends. They tend to be loners. Thus, their death is of little profit to any would-be relatives. The gains to be made are for the whole group i.e. less resources would be wasted on the individual who was no longer contributing meaningfully to the group. Instead, they seem to execute a sort of “self-destruct” program, hastening their own removal from the picture.

This is in contrast to another group of patients who, though in a similar situation as regards sickness, are better able to handle themselves i.e. they are nicer and easier to deal with, even as dying patients. Such people tend to have more family and friends. Such people tend to get more attention and help because they are still “good to be around”. Their attitude and demeanor ensure that they are more likely to get the help they need from care-givers. And they also tend to live longer. Once again, this is contrary to the individualist view. There are more people who would “gain” from the death of such a person, yet this person’s behavior ensures that they are around longer.

It seems to have more to do with value and contribution. Humans, like most animals, are about the group. People who have loads of friends and family tend to be better off than those who don’t. As an extension, groups with individuals that work well together tend to do better than those that are less so. If you look at behavior from the perspective of the group rather than the individual, you can see that the group would clearly favor individuals that offer more value to the group as a whole. There are loads of examples of these, if you can be bothered to check them out. You have the Human Immune System, where killer cells that are successful in attacking invaders get more resources and reproduce more, while the less successful die out, starved of resources. You have cell-suicide (part of Apoptosis) where cells that are “broken” in some way unwittingly send out signals that cause them to be killed or starved to death, or to even poison themselves, as they are no longer of any use to the body.

What’s really interesting is how Advanced Neural Networks work off the same principles, as explained by Howard Bloom in his books. A Neural network consists of a number of nodes which combine together to achieve a function (the central nervous system is an example of a biological Neural Network). These networks have ways of learning and optimizing to get the best performance in solving problems. Essentially, individual nodes that work better towards solving the problem receive more connections and continually get more energy sent their way. Those that don’t receive less and less. They are not approached often, as they are dumped in the bunch that just don’t measure up. There isn’t much of a fuss about this; it’s just the way it is.

It would seem that we all have selflessness in us, whether we like it or not. This doesn’t mean each individual has to sacrifice himself for others. I think it’s more of a question of fulfilment and value. The idea is that you have to live life and play your part in your group (family, work, school, fraternity). As long as, internally, you feel a “sense of accomplishment” about your life and your contribution – whatever that means to you – then you should be alright. You would be a person of value. You would thereby be adding to the value of the group. If you feel like you are of low value, then your nature will begin to “exercise selflessness” and work towards removing you from the group, in general terms.

I think it was put best in the Bible… “To he who hath it shall be given; from he who hath not even what he hath shall be taken away”.

Natural justice can be pretty brutal, if you ask me.

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The idea of Natural Selection is intriguing and, oddly, quite logical. It’s like a less ridiculous version of the TV Game Show Takeshi’s Castle. This show, in addition to being ludicrously funny, highlights some of the key concepts of this natural – if not completely accepted – phenomenon. Basically, you have a large group of contestants who have to overcome a series of challenges and finally defeat the boss to win. All the challenges have a significant amount of luck involved. In fact, some of them are all luck. However, players stand a better chance of getting through if they are fit, agile and have good co-ordination. One can imagine that those that make to the end would hold some valuable information that might increase the chances of success for future contestants. Well, that could be so if it wasn’t a crazy TV show.

Thinking about how organisms adapt and develop new characteristics to deal with their environment is just a little bit mind-bending, if you really get into it – and most people don’t. Basically, every life-form (including the homo-sapiens) is in a fight for survival. This stuff is hard-coded somewhere deep, like in DNA or something. The ultimate goal is the survival of the species. It means defeating disease, predators, as well as the environment. In order to do that, each species has to adapt – i.e. become better suited – to the conditions around them. Those who can’t, die. Simple. Each individual in the group plays her own role. Some cope better than others. Some get trampled on. Some just sort of get by. Some rise and become leaders. The process by which these individuals come to prominence (or obscurity, for that matter) is not necessarily fair. It might be that they luckily survive some viral attack, or they are of a larger size than their peers, or perhaps they are of a more aggressive disposition. In any case, these individuals survive. They can therefore pass on their genes to offspring who, with some luck, inherit their survival traits. This, in turn, is good for the group as a whole. This is my understanding of Natural Selection, in a nutshell.

There is competition for resources in all living systems. With our complete domination of the earth (unless you consider cockroaches…the little buggers will probably be here long after we’re gone), our current view of this is really concentrated on competition with each other. In the old days, Bo the caveman and his homies were too busy trying to survive to worry about holy wars. One can imagine that, after a somewhat lackluster childhood, Bo became special as a man because of his uncanny ability to bash-in Sabre-Toothed Tiger heads. Thus, nobody messed with him. He was important to the group. He could protect the shepherds while they foraged their sheep (or whatever they had back then). He was kept away from dangerous trips to the canyon to get water; the one where many fell to their deaths. He was well fed, so he could keep up his strength. Best of all, Bo got the best women, as ladies – even back then – love to rub shoulders with a celebrity. Plus, they all wanted to be his baby-mama. By the time he was killed at the ripe, old age of 34 (trampled to death by a woolly mammoth while napping in dangerous territory after a particularly tasty meal), he had serviced every female in the group, including the big chief’s missus. Even in death, Bo’s legacy lived on, as quite a few of the next generation were his.

That is “Survival of the fittest”, sort of. This example had more of a social framework perhaps, but it’s still the same principle in nature. That principle seems to be that systems feed more resources to those who are useful; those who are successful at surviving. The more value one provides, the more resources one is likely to get. Wasting supplies on failures or inefficient individuals is bad for the group. Best let them fade away while fellas like Bo get more. Fellas like Bo are survivors. Fellas like Bo contribute more to ensure the group stays around longer. So, in general, the group redirects resources from the less useful to the more useful, where necessary. This whole process has a kind of brutal justice to it. It’s cruel for the Individual but powerful for the survival of the group/species/organism.

Another really good example comes from the immune system of the human body. This is another topic that is really fascinating to learn about. You couldn’t find more drama in day-time soap operas. I won’t get into it here, but we’ll say that there are a variety of Cells along with Antibodies that are involved in protecting you from invader micro-organisms that would do you harm. The group we are most interested in here are B-Cells; one of those that float around waiting to be alerted to the presence of these invaders so they can attack them. When this type of cell is alerted, and subsequently “activated” (like a dog set on a target by giving it a scent to follow, for instance), it starts to reproduce by cell division. All these kid-cells descend on the poor unsuspecting visitors and attempt to destroy them. Now, those that are strongest and most successful, for whatever reason, continually get fed resources to keep going. Those that are weaker are out-competed and die. This is related to a process called Apoptosis. Apoptosis also ensures that cells that are infected automatically send out a signal that marks them for death, whether they want to or not. These cells are wiped out by their own brothers before they can spread infection further (Some invaders have found ways to stop this signal from going out, causing infections to spread and wreak havoc on the human, as the killer cells have no way of telling that these cells are “hot”). Also, cells that are unable to carry out their functions properly for whatever reason are not spared either. Either the “environment” notices and stops supplying resources to the cell, or the cell basically kills itself, by a form of poisoning, for instance. In any case, the body does not waste further food supplies on weak links.

I have simplified the above process quite a bit, but it’s the best I could do without boring you to death. The point is that nature, both internally and externally, favors success. Being successful, in nature anyway, generally leads to more success. Failing, on the other hand, means a tendency towards the bottom of the pile…death. There is an experiment which was done some time ago where they put a group of rats in a cage and periodically subjected them to electric shocks – it goes without saying that being a rat must really suck. They also put a button in the cage that, when pushed, would stop the shocks for all the rats, for that particular wave. Basically, early on, some rats found the button while the others didn’t. Those that did immediately went for it whenever the shocks started, and were able to temporarily provide relief for the entire group. Those that didn’t have that option took the shocks, one can imagine, helplessly. The longer-term results were interesting. The helpless rats had very high levels of stress, understandably. Their immune systems suffered. Their reflexes suffered. They didn’t even have the ability to attempt escape when ample opportunity was given to them. They were completely resigned to their fate. The other ones, in contrast, where considerably better off. Even though they received just as much in the way of shocks as the others, the fact that they had the succeeded in doing something about it had great effects on them. They stayed sharp. They lived longer. They also attempted escape when given the chance. Their bodies (psychology, hormones etc) provided positive feedback in response to success and equipped them for more of it. As for the others…well, their nature turned on them. This experiment was tried on other animals with similar results.

Humans now live in much more complex systems and groups. Being “Successful” in any of the groups isn’t just about staying alive anymore. Failing to succeed also doesn’t mean death. That said, similar rules still apply. Take for instance, a simple example of an attempt at success in the “Corporate World”. You start, hypothetically, at university where you have to take a particular course. If you pass, you are welcomed in. You have proven success. Those who can’t make it (for whatever reason…laziness, illness, poverty, stupidity) are chucked out. As you move forward, the system continually rewards you for more success. There are more connections, more partnerships in this space; relationships that will keep the good stuff coming for years, giving you the tools to make your ability to succeed even greater. Internally, your confidence soars with each new victory, ensuring that you have the stamina to keep going. So, even if you have one or two set-backs, you still have enough juice to keep you churning for a while. If you fail, however, you can become an outcast from this class. Making it becomes harder. The system rejects you. Psychologically, repeated failure could take its toll on your confidence. Even when you try, people around may see your lack of conviction in your eyes, in your demeanor, in your body language. They aren’t likely to give you the time of day. Thus, you could sink further. You could end up screwed, both by the environment, and by yourself. Death might not be the consequence, but exit from the system, this situation still is.

This is the world we live in. It is, in a way, as nature intended. There are many things that can separate success from the failure in our systems…geographical location, ancestry, looks, innate intelligence or lack thereof etc. Some people seem to have more traits that allow them to excel, in addition to having the social background that mean that the odds may be heavily skewed in their favor. The good thing about evolution is that Man now has much more power to reject the status quo, if he chooses to. He can consciously try to improve himself and perhaps get to places that were previously out of his reach. He can analyze, learn, plan and work his way to his chosen goal, in spite of the environment he is in. He can nuture the more subtle parts of his nature to find fulfillment that isn’t tied to an external goal.

Heck, he can even abandon the system altogether and go off on his own path.

There are times when we as human beings are forced to confront our feelings regarding major issues e.g. if Chelsea FC and Arsenal FC are to meet in the FA Cup Final, and I stand to make a reasonable amount of money on a Chelsea win; does my predisposition towards a Chelsea loss (which I believe should always happen…infact, I think this is a form of natural justice) trump my lust for money, which is considerable? This is indeed a conundrum. I’d have to seriously consider whether indulging my hatred of Chelsea would be worth missing out on a possible trip to Vegas, assuming my missus would approve. No easy answers to be found here, friends.

On a much grander scale, humanity is still coming to terms with the fact that the resources we have are running out, and attempting to address the situation has left us between a rock and a hard place. I read this article on the BBC News website which highlights the crisis in food supply that is brewing. The article also helpfully presents a possible solution to the would-be problem: Genetically Modified (GM) Foods, or certainly the technology behind it. GM Foods have been around for a while. You can read this Wikipedia page for stats, but I think it’s safe to say that if you live in the US or Europe today, there’s a good chance you have consumed something with GM tech in it. Basically, the idea here is that those who are against GM will have to compromise at some point to ensure that a larger proportion of humanity is fed.

GM is a controversial term, but the idea of genetic engineering is in keeping with humanity’s need to improve on God’s work for purposes of self-preservation, or for cosmetic reasons. This is in some way related to the issue of cloning stem cells…or the possibility of choosing traits in our children before they are born. It’s inteferring with nature, any way you put it. This is not always problematic, as most would agree that at least a few of our triumphs in the field of medicine can be argued as doing just that. This is a question of lines, and where they should be drawn; heck, if they should be drawn at all. The motives in some cases for “making changes” are clearly understandable (“Superman” Christopher Reeves was a big proponent of Stem Cell research. I can’t say I could challenge that, seeing what he had to live through being paralysed from the neck down). In others, they are a bit iffy (Mother tells doctor to only preserve fetuses that have green eyes, instead of regular brown). In addition to these, in the case of GM you have issues like Intellectual Property, Financial Profitability (big warning signs here for both of these), and Health and Safety. The companies that push this…they stand to make a mint. We’ve all seen what the search for profit can do. How can we be sure that all of this “tampering” is safe? Do we NEED to do this?

It’s funny how perspectives can change with time and experience. I worked in the Produce department at a Super Market in London years ago, and I can honestly say I wasn’t the least bit bothered about all the GM brouhaha. They said it made crops cheaper to grow; more resistant to weeds and viruses and stuff; plus the end-product looked good. I spent a considerable amount of time stacking apples, courgettes and potatoes. I never saw fruits and veggies that looked so appealing. We had a bunch of fruit trees in our compound when I was growing up in Nigeria. There was mango, orange, tangerine, oil palm, avocado, paw paw, sugar cane, plantain, guava, banana…and another species of banana. There were more, but I think I’ve made my point – I know fruit. Fruit never looked sexy till I got to England. I actually wanted to eat fruit there, rather than just pluck them because they were available (ironically, I only now truly appreciate the benefits of consuming all of that as a child). Also, If you didn’t want to purchase GM foods in the store you could avoid them e.g. by paying for that Organic stuff – if you were rich. No harm, no foul. I never really thought about the far-reaching implications until fairly recently.

The first time it registered as anything more than just “advanced cropping techniques” was when I saw a square watermelon on TV. I am not sure why I thought it was GM, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that this square watermelon scared me…big time. Have you ever seen a square watermelon? It just seems so…wrong; at least that’s what I thought at the time. I paid more attention to GM after that; plus I vowed not to eat any more watermelons until they had been put through an extremely stringent identity verification process. It turns out I needn’t have worried; square watermelons are not GM products, and they cost a fortune!

In any case, the issue is coming to a head as time moves on. It’s one thing to say that food is expensive, or not, as the case may be; but it is something else entirely to say it is unavailable, even for those who would be able to afford it. This brings up a question. Is this really an issue of food scarcity, or is there more to it? The UN released numbers showing that, as of December 2008, almost a billion people are registered members of the “starving class”. As you can imagine, most of those are in poor or developing countries. It would seem that the key problem might not be over-population or a lack of food as some would think, but poverty and food distribution (further complicated by corruption and other factors). It is not that population is not an issue, but that the problem still exists in the absence of the population issue. For instance, Bangladesh suffers from over-population and a lot of people are starving. This is true. However, Nigeria and Brazil (while densely populated) have substantial food available and people are still starving. There are systems in place that govern how crops are cultivated and distributed e.g. countries that owe money to the West have a certain amount of “Cash-Crops” they must produce to pay off their debt, seemingly without much regard for the state of its inhabitants. Will producing more GM Foods in the world address this? The simple answer is “No”.

Then, we have waste. Americans apparently do not consume a good 40% of the food harvested here. That’s a shame (Shame on me too, I suppose. My contributions towards excessive consumption in the US were truly phenomenal until recently, since I have a soft spot for steak. I am not much for waste though. My mother thought me to always clear up my plate ). It might help if some structure were put into place – along with good, old-fashioned responsibility from regular citizens – to help mitigate this and redirect resources to where they are needed more. It might also help if those massive multi-national farming companies didn’t encourage their workers to toss out fruits that have been harvested because they don’t look “pretty” enough for the stores. Once again, the sheer quantity of waste here is appalling. That said, we all contribute to this by automatically homing in on the nicer-looking fruits at Walmart or Asda. A change in attitude is perhaps needed…from everyone.

So, should we really be having the GM debate when more “holistic” solutions are available? GM is an interesting proposition, but it won’t address the underlying problem. We have to fix the system first. Many agree that there is enough food, at least for now. The GM debate will be necessary at some point, but we shouldn’t have to do it now. Maybe humanity will run out of food at some point (Lord knows what we might have to do at that point…maybe old folks will be…gulp…recycled). However, as long as there are other solutions to address the problem of hungry people, it will just not be palatable to a lot of people. Controversial change – particularly change with potential risk for all – always has a better chance of success and more powerful impact when there is NECESSITY driving it. You don’t start planning to have an operation on your leg before you break it. You first try to avoid breaking it e.g. take calcium pills (non GM, of course), avoid playing in football matches with Martin Taylor, etc. There are other ways you should try first. Invasive surgery should be a last resort.

There is much more to explore here, so I’ll be back with this some other time.

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Before I continue, I would like to clear up a few things. No, I don’t work for Apple (neither am I looking for a job with them). No, I have not been commissioned to do marketing for them (Hint, hint, Apple. I can be reached at donald@masteryourfate.com. Paypal donations accepted). I am just another professional – no, human being – who has been seeking that Holy Grail for the Mobile Life (which I’d like to think I am living, but that may just be me and my illusions of Grandeur): A device which will allow me to truly reproduce, at least partially, ALL of the important processes which I can do on my computer. I have now found it. Thus, I feel compelled to share this/bore others with this fact. Why? Well, because I can. Here’s a list of the features I require for daily life:

- Emails and Internet…decent speed
- Audio/Video Player
- Camera (Video and Audio)
- News
- Forex Charting/Analysis apps
- WordPress Blog/Twitter updates
- A bunch of other miscellaneous applications

My search has taken me to the highest of mountains and lowest of valleys (ahem), through days filled with fear and longing, and sleepless nights without internet access, wondering if my trades had gone wrong and wiped out my trading account. No more. No more, I say.

It has been a long and winding road to get here. Once I had accepted that I “needed” one of these mobile/PDA life enhancing thingies, I had to get one. Need is a powerful thing. I usually discover that I need things close to birthdays and Christmas. At this point, my long-suffering missus is brought up to speed a couple of months out. By the time it’s a month till the event, my need has reached fever pitch. The missus now has to sanction the acquisition of the item of desire (a PS2, an XBOX, an XBOX 360, numerous mobile phones, even a car…now we add the iPhone 3GS) before I spontaneously combust.

So I got a Blackberry first. It was great for checking active email accounts (all 6 of them). The internet was a bit dodgy though. The screen was also way too small. it just didn’t feel like the internet in my hand, you know? So, I jettisoned it after some months (I forget the excuse…but it was clearly life or death). I got the T-Mobile G1 a month before Xmas. That was fun for a while. The internet was better (though T-Mobile’s 3G network is not great). I was also exposed to a new world of applications. I lusted for greater power though. I still had to carry an Ipod around. Android (the Google Mobile operating framework) shows a lot of promise, but the better phones and applications are years away. Ok, maybe the end of the year; but that’s like light-years in the mobile world.

Then recently, a colleague suddenly acquired an iPhone. I was assaulted with sweet temptation from all sides. In due time (like a couple of days), I caved and went out and got one (Anyone want a T-Mobile G1?). All I can say is WOW! Check out a typical Monday:

- Wake up to alarm (iPhone).

- Listen to some relaxing Enya (what I listen to is my business) as I preapre (iPhone in dock)

- Listen to podcasts as I drive (FM trasmitter in car…the VW iPod adapter is rubbish)

- Use iPhone App “Simplex FX” to do some Forex Technical Analysis on Charts during the day. Take notes if I notice anything interesting. Flashes of inspiration can be put on blog. Internet use is a cinch.

- Take iPod to gym and listen to more podcasts and my spanish learning thingy

- Miscellaneous tasks, of which they are many on the iPhone

- Playback some of my personal statements (e.g. “I am the Greatest”) before I go to bed (voice recorder on my iPhone)

- Sleep until I am awakened by alarm

- Rinse and repeat till infinity.

I can be away from my PC for days and still function. It’s the best life-partner a guy could ask for (apologies to my wife)! I can honestly say that my quest to make the world a better place now has a boost…ahem.

600 Americans die falling out of bed each year (Time Magazine, Nov 2006). I guess I’ll be sleeping in from now on…

Seriously though, statistics like this belie the true facts. They can over-generalize and leave you with the wrong impression; in this case, the impression that trying to get out of bed can leave you dead which, while true, is a massive exaggeration. In truth, most of the people who meet their demise this way are much older or much younger than the average. Basically, it’s still okay for you to risk getting out of bed.

So it’s really about the idea of risk and whether the rewards of attempting something are worth the potential cost. The issue of risk has never been more relevant than it is today. I mean, we are slowly recovering (knock on wood) from the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression in the 1930s. It’s been bloody and painful to watch and experience it first-hand. Thus, it’s timely to bring up that old lovable-rogue, Risk. Why? Well, because he is mostly to blame for the BS we have all had to endure over the last year or so…if you believe most people. There are others in the line-up as well; Greed, for instance. However, Risk features prominently somewhere between cause and effect here.

I remember watching the United States’ Congress grilling the “Wall Street” CEOs after it was revealed that most of their philosophy for management seemed to be about maximizing risk and hoping for the best. Okay, not really; but most of these clowns were a bit rubbish, really. In any case, I was a little sad because I could see the effect such a spectacle (almost a public hanging, sort of) would have – not on the CEOs themselves; they might now be a little bit constrained in their current environment, but they will soon find other ways to express their dare-devil tendencies…or just retire with their massive bonuses – on those regular people at home who watched it; those who were reeling from the new harsh reality of living in tough economic times after years of prosperity; those who might decide that this was proof that taking risks is just not worth the trouble.

As I alluded to in the opening sentence of this article, risk-taking is inherent in our lives. There’s the whole having to get out of bed thing. There’s driving to work under the assumption that other drivers will be reasonable folks, not psychotic murderers out for blood. There’s eating out at a restaurant not knowing what the chef (or his prankster assistant) has put in your meal. I’m nitpicking here, I know; but it’s interesting how human beings can give a much higher risk weighting to one thing, completely ignoring the statistics, because of perception. For instance, I read an article in Time Magazine a little while ago that pointed out an interesting fact. As of the date of that article (Nov 2006), precisely no one in America had been killed by Avian Flu, which was busy inducing barely restrained panic in people. However, the common flu contributes to the death of over 36,000 Americans a year. Talk about misplaced fear (er…I have never taken the flu shot either, and Swine flu freaked me out completely earlier this year as well).

This phenomenon could have something to do with the “Devil you know” concept. The relatively unknown always seems scarier than the things we are familiar with. Aside from that, we tend to fear suffering, in most cases more than death itself. I mean I have thought to myself that I would like to go quickly when it’s my time (Not often. I’m not morbid! Honest!). Thus, we tend to have a greater fear of a long, drawn-out demise e.g. from AIDS; even though Heart Disease kills 50 times as many people (once again, American statistics).

This brings us back to the risks in finance. The idea is simple: if you screw up your finances, you are looking at possibly a very long, drawn-out period that would be spent answering for that. You might also have to drag your family along for the ride. It is not a pleasant thought. So, we would all do well to plan carefully and ensure that we don’t ruin ourselves. Security is the watch-word here, for ourselves and those we love. That said, how much security is too much security? I mean let’s try to be objective about it. In life, it seems that if you risk a little bit more, you raise the potential for gaining more…as well as losing more. So, there has to be a “middle-area”, right? Somewhere where the potential loss is not so big that we can’t get back on the horse again if the venture fails. Well, there is, in my opinion.

Those Wall Street CEOs…they had the right idea, before they put it on steroids. In order to effect real change, some risk-taking is required. That is how industry works. Google has launched an OS and Microsoft is stepping into the Search game again. Each of these is a risky venture, with the potential for much bruising down the line; but the game must be played. The concept of “security” might be enough to preserve the status-quo for a while, but progress requires shaking things up a bit. That’s part of the reason CEOs (not necessarily these chumps we talked about before…you know who you are!) get to earn as much money as they do; they have developed higher risk-tolerance, and an ability to “stick their necks out”. One might argue that it’s easy to do this if you’re already financially secure (as most of these folks are; darned bonuses!), but these ladies and gentlemen demonstrated those qualities long before they made it to the top. You see it at work, with the people who are more willing to take on responsibility with the risk of “screwing up” hanging over them. If things don’t work out, they might have to move jobs, but if they do, jackpot!

The idea of huge risks in “doing one’s own thing” is a also bit dated. This article on Time.com points out for instance that there isn’t nearly as much risk involved in entrepreneurship as one might think. It really comes down to planning. For instance, that’s what Business Plans are for. There’s also more opportunity to start with small things (not the 200 dollar “investment” in Blackjack in Vegas. I learnt my lesson from that one). Risk-tolerance is like a muscle. It needs exercise. You can flex it with inconsequential things at first, then up the stakes a little.

The most important thing is not to give into the knee-jerk reaction that comes when a little (okay, BIG)something like a recession comes along. One must not lose one’s objectivity in such situations. Investigate; do the research yourself. There are things that one can only learn by trying. The experience (along with prejudices and failures) of others can only carry anyone so far.

Besides, putting yourself out there makes you more alive. That’s partly what life is all about, you know?

You do yourself no justice if you don’t.

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Recently, I have found my thoughts unconsciously drifting to a subject that I have consciously avoided for most of my adult life…the suffering of others. I mean poverty in the third-world, poverty in Nigeria, since that’s where I’m from.

I have realized that, up until now, my attitude towards this has been to ignore it where possible. Of course it has never seemed that way to me when it occurs, but I can see now that that is what it was…is. I don’t want it to be there; I don’t wish it on anyone; however, I can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so I change the channel after a customary sigh of sadness and yada, yada, yada…wonder what’s on TV today?

I was raised around poverty. There were poor folks everywhere. That was the way it was…is. We weren’t though, as with most of my friends. The deprived people around…well, they were just a fact of life, you know? I was sure they were fine. Not really my problem. I had my own life to live. It’s funny how life can be. I remember hearing on CNN in my mid-teens that 70% of Nigerians were below the poverty line. I was genuinely shocked. Things couldn’t really be that bad, could they? Foreigners were mistaken. They were looking at things from one perspective. There were clearly large amounts of wealth in Nigeria. What were they going on about?

Over the years that view of my home country has pretty much been the same. Everytime I watch some news or documentary highlighting Nigeria, it always seems to highlight so much negativity (forget the emails…that’s not what I am talking about here. Focus!). I want to say “That’s not the way it is. That’s not the way it is. That’s just not the way it is…”. It’s almost like if I say it enough times, people will realize that I am speaking the truth. However, that is false. The truth is that things ARE bad. If 70% of a the population of a country live under the poverty line (if the statistics still apply…though I can’t imagine them being much different from that), then that reflects the state of the country. That is what matters. It’s no use harping on about the other 30% who are doing well if so many have sucky lives. That means the country is failing. Now that’s something that we who are in a better position in some way, form or manner have to take some responsibility for.

The view that my country is a craphole, true or false, has a number of knock-on effects on my life. There is an instant impulse to disprove any preconceptions people may have about me, because…”not all of us are like that!”. No matter where I go in the world, I will have to answer in some way for being Nigerian. There’s the other problem as well; the voice in my head that whispers to me when I go to sleep at night in the privacy of my home (or hotel room, or in-law’s sofa…don’t ask). The voice says “what have you done about it?”. Up until now I have been fine answering that. I try to live my life to fairly high standards…ish. I try to to do the…right thing. You know what I mean, living a good life and all of that. I could always say “I have done right, so sod off”.

The problem now (aside, of course, for the voices in my head, which I should clearly get therapy for) is that I can now see how selfish that perspective is. It’s always been about me, first. While fixing yourself is fair, there comes a time when extending that sphere around yourself to include others becomes paramount. The idea is that after you are done addressing yourself, you try to contribute to the greater good. You give something of yourself; time, money etc. You do it because you can see more of the bigger picture. You can see that you are part of a whole. You can no longer separate yourself completely. If everything goes to hell, it’s only a matter of time before your little cocoon is punctured as well. So, you try to help out in some way…to do your part, to fix the situation so you can stop defending yourself repeatedly in public! Or you do it to allay your guilt for moving on to better things and abandoning others to face a crap fate; the guilt for not trying to do anything about it. You do it because you are now in the position to. At least that’s the idea.

So, where does one start now that one has been unfortunate enough to be have a conscience suddenly bestowed upon them? What can one do? The body and soul are now ready (sort of) to do something. However, the mind has no clue what direction to head. Well, I don’t think it’s necessary to quit your job and go off with the Red Cross to a warzone to help victims, though you can if that’s your cup of tea. It’s just that lack of sleep bothers me, as do flies, and long periods in tropical climates; plus my missus would kill me. I am joking about these (aside from my wife, she really would kill me), but there is a point. Our lives are full of stuff. Too much to sacrifice to do the big things, so we do nothing. The answer, perhaps, is to start small. Find a cause that you can identify with, then find someone who is doing something with it and join them. For someone like me, that’s easy. There is much to fix in my home country. I can do something about that, and I can start now.

I met up with one of the guys who started this: PovertyStopsHere.org. These are people who are ACTUALLY doing something. No rhetoric, just good, old-fashioned action. I have always thought I was a reasonable person. I imagined that when it came down to it, I could look out for others when required. Well, after this week, I know now that I have much to do if I am to live up to this vision of myself.

So act! Find your cause today. You’ll feel better for it.

At age 5, Junior gets scolded by a stranger in a black hat (we’ll leave out the part where he nearly breaks the guy’s windscreen with his football – and I mean soccer). Perhaps the man has had a bad day, or maybe he’s just an angry, grumpy, fun-hating killjoy (which is well within his rights, you know). In any case, his reaction is overblown. That reference is stored. So JR instinctively dislikes his P.E. teacher at age 13, since the teacher looks similar to the other guy…and also wears a hat. JR doesn’t make the connection; he just knows that something about the guy bugs him. Added to this mix is the fact that this teacher also happens to be a bit of a disciplinarian. That just reinforces it. Soon, he finds that he “distrusts” men of that description who wear hats – uncommon, I know…work with me – because they are just…you know…dodgy. He carries this into adulthood, and it impacts the relationships he develops, and his attitude to his boss, perhaps negatively. All of this would be traceable back to that one incident when he was a child. This sort of thing happens…to all of us.

What’s a tad bit worrying is that, without looking closely, you have no control of the process. It’s automatic. The brain cannot afford to be finicky. It’s trying to protect you. Back in the old days (think cavemen) the brain worked to keep you alive so you wouldn’t become lunch for the sabre-toothed tiger that was lurking around. These days, there are many other things for the brain to protect you from; embarassment, sadness, unhappiness, worthlessness, loneliness…the list goes on and on, and depends on the sort of person you have “become”. These things are treated with the same disdain as death used to be (even more, in some cases. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to die when I was in secondary school…usually in situations involving members of the opposite sex. I digress. Sorry…”bad” memories being stirred up). Usually, things that threaten your happiness, and I use that term loosely, are to be avoided. One would think therefore that the brain would disregard anything that would create such negative feelings. Alas, importance often trumps negativity. All this stuff is “extremely” important. Only being able to stutter and break out into full blush when a bunch of giggly girls call your name at school is important (never happened to me…really!). The brain reacts accordingly, perhaps with feelings of worthlessness or sadness, as the situation “demands”. Whatever lack of confidence you might feel in such a situation is only reinforced…that little “box” of sad things in your mind gets another entry.

Soon, these boxes start to determine your state of mind. Your control is limited. Your brain has it filed away that if your parents think you suck at something, then the greatest possibility is that you do suck. Nevermind how old you were or the objective situation at the time. This box of suckiness has all the appropriate reactions linked with it. When something happens that triggers it, the brain produces the related response…inadequacy (I am such a wuss), anger (why does she have to be such a ** anyway?!) etc. Heck, if it rains or is cloudy, that’s usually an item for the “Sad Things” box. It’s the darn box!

Your brain might be running you. Yes, you! It’s like the computer VICKI in Will Smith’s IRobot (decent movie, in my opinion…aside from Will Smith’s dodgy hat). It will do what it thinks is best to protect you, regardless of the damage it does. It will run your life, completely on auto-pilot. You wake up in the morning, go about your everyday activities, all according to the reactions your brain sets out for you. Almost every situation you encounter already has a pre-defined box and reaction in your memory. The ability to look at things anew is mostly lost.

The answer: Pay attention. Watch how you respond to events in life. You can be there to catch the conditioned action your brain throws out at you. You don’t have to accept it. You can try something different. You can examine the boxes. You can empty those that are detrimental to you, then start again. You can gradually take control of the ship again.

I mean, is it really the end of the world if some people made fun of me at school? Does that make me worthless? Do I need to hunt them down and make them pay for destroying my self-esteem? Arrgh!! No. I don’t. I’ll simply re-examine that box and change my reaction. I’ll try to choose my own perspective. I’ll decide my response. I’ll fail at first, but then I’ll keep going until I get it right.

In the meantime though, it might be better if those people stay out of my way…just in case. I’m trying here.

Till next time.